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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Grama Bee's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 10th, 2006
5:23 pm
FBI: American Among Escapees From Yemen By CAROLYN THOMPSON, Associated Press Writer
1 hour, 44 minutes ago

BUFFALO, N.Y. - An American wanted for allegedly training with the "Lackawanna Six" at an al-Qaida camp was among the 23 men who tunneled out of a Yemeni prison last week, the FBI confirmed Friday.

Authorities earlier said they believed Jaber Elbaneh, 39, was probably among the escapees, but were not certain because of conflicting information, including a posting by the international police organization Interpol that pictured Elbaneh but described someone else.

Elbaneh is charged in Buffalo with providing material support to al-Qaida by attending the al-Farooq training camp run by Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan months before the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

Six other men who attended the camp — dubbed the Lackawanna Six after the city near Buffalo where they lived — are serving sentences ranging from seven to 10 years after pleading guilty in 2003 to providing support to a terrorist organization.

Authorities believe Elbaneh surrendered to Yemen authorities in December 2003. The United States had asked Yemen to hand him over, but had not received an official response.

Interpol has said those who escaped last Saturday also included Jamal al-Badawi — convicted of plotting, preparing and helping carry out the USS Cole bombing that killed 17 sailors in a Yemeni port in 2000.
Thursday, February 9th, 2006
4:13 pm
How To Write the Great Modern Novel
How To Write the Great Modern Novel
By Chuck Faremont

1. Instead of using the common narrative voice of first or third person, try the more obscure second person singular, or better yet, the first person plural. After all, you want to distinguish your great novel in some way from all those other books written each year. So what if it’s clumsy or difficult to read; after all, you’re a writer and your audience should be grateful you simply put pen to paper.

2. Don’t bother writing in a straightforward style that doesn’t call attention to itself and allows the reader to lose himself in your work; instead, adopt a distinctive style–say, one that was popular in the 19th century. Refer to your audience as "dear reader" The only reason no one uses this style anymore is because they’ve all forgotten about it. How clever you’ll seem if you resurrect it for your novel! Don’t worry that it might seem stilted or false; readers that don’t get it are too stupid to be reading your book anyway.

3. If your character has dark blue eyes, refer to them as "navy."

4. Make yourself a character in your book. After all, you’re a writer, a personality. The audience wants to know as much about you as possible, and they’ll be grateful for every little morsel you feed them about your interesting life.

5. Adopt a prose style that allows you to pile on big fluffy adjectives and metaphors in every sentence. No matter that it obscures the story line or that the actual words are meaningless and nonsensical. Use of this style will signal to critics that you are a writer of substance. Besides, it will serve to draw attention away from the fact that your plot line sags by page 63 or that you repeat yourself constantly.

6. Fuck execution. It doesn’t matter how you tell the story as long as it’s padded with lofty, meaningless prose (see No. 5). This will ensure that your book gets a fawning review, complete with pull-out quotes of some of your more obscure prose, by a completely clueless reviewer at the Times.

7. If you’re writing satire, pick a well-worn topic that’s been done to death and write about it; an in-joke only you and your friends understand. Take for instance, the subject of teaching creative writing to college students and its attending comic trials and tribulations. Remember how hilarious it is when students come to class with their bad prose for critique. After all, the average reader has no experience whatsoever with bad writing, and they will surely find it amusing when you quote numerous passages of bad student stories ad nauseum. Also, don’t bother to write your satire coherently or in broad enough terms so that the average reader can understand the point of the story. Orwell did this in Animal Farm and you know what a piece of shit that book is compared to yours.

8. Use all of the above devices to draw attention to yourself; be self-congratulatory wherever you can. After all, as a writer, you’re the star. Literature is merely the catalyst for your personal fame, so plug yourself whenever and wherever possible.

9. Don’t bother reading any great classic writers, like Faulkner. They’ve got nothing to teach you, post-modernist child of the 21st century. No one reads those late greats anyway, so why the hell should you? It’s book sales that count in the end; that’s the mark of a great writer.

10. Remember to shift back and forth liberally from present to past to future tenses, while simultaneously shifting point of view, whether it serves the story line or not. This will lead critics to believe you’re a master at execution, a maverick with a take-no-prisoners literary style. If you’re unsure about how to do this, simply get a hat and six slips of paper. Write past, present, future, 1st person, 2nd person, 3rd person on one of each of the slips. Drop them all into a hat, and keep picking until you have one of each for tense and point of view. Write a few paragraphs, or a few sentences using this combination. Pick new slips as often as necessary.

11. Make sure your book includes a readers guide section that has an interview with you. Discuss at length how difficult it was to write your masterpiece. After all, readers are deeply interested in you and your "process." Tell them in detail all about your muse. Finally, remember to plug your next novel in the course of the interview. If you’re not currently working on anything, make up a title. Later when you do write something, you can always say the first was just a working title.

12. Write continuously. That’s the mark of a great writer. No need to pause for introspection or self-reflection. The more you write, the better. Also, pad your stories and novels with excess prose (see No. 5). Super size them! Remember, bigger = better.
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
6:05 pm
Now it's Gone, GO ON GO ON. Now it's Gone, GO ON GO ON. GONE GONE GONE.
5:14 pm
Dear Dictionary,

I do not need your help anymore. I continue to make my own words.

Ignorance Is Bliss,
the Granmeister_B
Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
10:48 am
Simonfan is not my homeboy.

I'll cry me a river.
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
10:01 am
Is it just me, or are the men today a bit over-emotional?

Whatever happened to the John Wayne or Clint Eastwood types?

Or better yet, Gary Numan.

Men seem so much more catty these days.
Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
2:40 pm







equals travel.
2:25 pm
Starbucks, you bastards!
Monday, December 15th, 2003
6:01 pm
you know, if you're going to call me an asshole for stating my feelings (about both political parties being corrupt), I feel it's then your obligation to prove to me otherwise. Make a case and then drive it home. Being evasive and throwing names is really just a waste of our time. And really, it only proves one thing. You're full of hot air.
Saturday, December 13th, 2003
9:10 pm
6:12 pm
you know... was it just me or was every clip focused on HIM the whole time? pyscho.
I love how only one person commented.
2:19 pm
oh boy, inclognito is in chat. whatever will i do?!
Friday, December 12th, 2003
9:33 pm
there's not enough lobsters in the world to make her sane.
Saturday, November 1st, 2003
6:52 pm
A lot of time spent in the hills.
It's truly hard to find time to take care of household issues. Need to find a new nanny for the cat.

Support, Ethical Hackers Against Pedophilia.
Thursday, January 30th, 2003
9:26 am
tik tak tuuben frak.
Friday, December 27th, 2002
3:09 pm
your dog knows how to sit.
my dog knows Judo and JuJitsu.
3:07 pm
you think you know what you are doing, while infact you are walking in your sleep.
3:06 pm
run-away goldfish RUN-AWAY GOLDFISH!!!!
Saturday, August 31st, 2002
10:19 pm
All is well in Yemen
and she rose from her bed
to see a light flickering in the distance...twas her hypnotube...reminding her...
that she has a journal!


I am ...preparing to "move house", purchase a new(& rather expensive)home security system, lusting over stain-less steel appliances again, and trying to manage a bit of sleep. Sleep. Ha!


a. A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming.
b. A period of this form of rest.
c. A state of inactivity resembling or suggesting sleep; unconsciousness, dormancy, hibernation, or death.

I fail. I take what they call "power naps". *smirk*
Tuesday, May 7th, 2002
11:32 am
Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a
private investigator Alan Pinkerton - for protection. That was the
beginning of the Secret Service.

Since that time federal police authority has grown to a large number
of multi-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc. Now comes
the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service."
Can't you see them now, these highly trained men and women in their
black outfits with their initials in large white letters across
their backs:
"FATASS." I feel safer already.
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